The Victim, The Suspect, The Grace of God
Hi, I am Deshawn Nelson. I was born Jonathan Deshawn Nelson, but due to the already established Gospel recording artist formally known as Jonathan Nelson. I was forced to come out using my middle name. However, there’s a phenomenal irony to this circumstance. Writing this testimonial actually helped me to discover the true nature and intention of God’s purpose for my life. Let me explain. This time last year I was admitted into the VA hospital for a severe depression disorder, alcohol abuse and PTSD. Years and years of unresolved trauma, pain and hurt had settled within in me to the point I could no longer identify what the real problem was anymore. So, I did what we all do when we can’t answer the “why” to the conundrums we face in life. I tried to numb the pain; drain out the noise in my head and the overwhelming failure from poor choices. Most won’t admit this but victims who don’t heal become the suspects of their own lives. See, I started out as the victim, but letting that pain have it’s way gave me an alibi that would become a scapegoat for me, and set in motion seeds that would one day grow to be fruit that I would have to eat and digest. It took a while before I saw that I was the problem; years to be exact, but when I did it was the hardest thing to accept. However, coming to that realization and embracing its reality freed me from a self-destructing lifestyle. I stopped blaming the people who contributed to the brokenness, and started paying more attention to how I nurtured the brokenness. Like a mother nurtures her new born, I fed it when it was hungry, held it when it cried. I was anxious when it was awake, relieved when it was sleep, but never settled or content due to lurking thought that there was only a matter of time before it was going to wake up and need my attention again. I could go on with this metaphor but I think you get the picture.
All of this was going on with me and I was a leader in the church. Yes I know, I was ashamed then but I am healed now so I can talk about it!
Anything you can not talk about keeps you in bondage!
Deshawn Nelson's FULL STORY is in #MusicLov3rz Magazine April Edition!
Get his album "PAIN" RELEASE:
Google Play: https://play.google.com/store/music/album/Deshawn_Nelson_Pain_Release?id=B2btu24bron4hngogswi47vz7ci
For hard copies go to to https://store.cdbaby.com/
(Click on green button CD-RP 12.97)
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/_deshawn.nelson/
#MusicLov3rz: #MusicLov3rz April 2020 - Independent Music Worldwide
† 3x Award Nominee "Media Publication of the Year" † Finalist For "Magazine of the Year" & "Media Outlet of the Year 2020! 🙏 Independent Music For The Lord of All Genres!
